Log in to access your menu with tools for managing 📝 tasks, 👥 clients, 💰 finances, 📖 learning, 🔍 personal growth, and 🌟 spirituality, all in one place!.
Welcome to AckySHINE, your go-to platform for personal growth, productivity, and well-being, offering tools tailored to organize your life, manage finances, and deepen your journey.
Kilichompata huyu jamaa akiwa anaangalia mpira mechi kali na mke wake
WIFE: Baibie, yule ni nani? Ni Chris Brown??
HUSBAND: Yule ni Theo Walcott
WIFE: ile Yellow Card ni ya nini?
Updated at: 2023-04-29 22:53:18 (2 years ago by Melkisedeck Leon Shine)
WIFE: Baibie, yule ni nani? Ni Chris Brown?? HUSBAND: Yule ni Theo Walcott WIFE: ile Yellow Card ni ya nini?
HUSBAND: ile ni ya Onyo, na Red Card inamaanisha mchezaji awache kucheza na atoke inje ya uwanja. WIFE: Oooooh! Inakaa kama traffic light! Yellow- Ilani na Red - Simama HUSBAND: Yeah yeah swity! Ndio hivyo. WIFE: Na je Green Card?? HUSBAND: Aaaah! Hakuna kitu kama hicho.
WIFE: Nataka Arsenal ishinde world cup. HUSBAND: [kimya] WIFE: Ni nani yule mzee anakaa kama Mr. Bean?? HUSBAND: Yeees swity, yule ni kocha wa Arsenal, anaitwa Arsene Wenger. WIFE: Oooooh! inamaanisha yule kocha mwengine ni Chelsea Wenger?? HUSBAND: [Kabadilisha channel]
Mzee kaingia pharmacy,
MZEE: Mambo mwanangu, kuna kitu naomba uonje nitakulipa
MFAMASIA: Kitu gani?….Mzee akatoa kichupa na kijiko akaweka …majimaji yaliyomo kwenye
kichupa kwenye kijiko na kumwambia mfamasia aonje, mfamasia akatia yale maji mdomoni na kuyazungusha zungusha mdomoni akionja;
Updated at: 2024-05-25 18:05:01 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Mzee kaingia pharmacy,
MZEE: Mambo mwanangu, kuna kitu naomba uonje nitakulipa
MFAMASIA: Kitu gani?….Mzee akatoa kichupa na kijiko akaweka …majimaji yaliyomo kwenye
kichupa kwenye kijiko na kumwambia mfamasia aonje, mfamasia akatia yale maji mdomoni na kuyazungusha zungusha mdomoni akionja;
MZEE: Nipe jibu, ina utamu wa sukari au chumvi au pilipili?
MFAMASIA: Kama chumvichumvi
MZEE: Hakuna sukari
MFAMASIA: Sukari hakuna kabisa
MZEE: Loh asante chukua hii alfu tano nashukuru sana, dokta alinambia nipime mkojo wangu kama nina kisukari, kumbe sina asante bwana mdogo
Updated at: 2024-05-25 16:57:53 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Ukimchoka mkeo, waweza kumtaftia sababu za kumuacha kama hizi
_ 1. Missed calls 16? Umeua betri la simu yangu. Kwa hiyo hata mimi unaweza kuniua… It's Over!!! _ 2. Hata hunieshimu. Mi naongea na wewe lakini we upo bize unavuta pumzi? It's over! _ 3. Nimekupigia umepokea simu hapohapo. Huna subira. It’s over!! _
4. Nilikwambia huwa napenda chakula cha moto lakini hujanipashia ice cream. Hunijali. It's over! _ 5. Nimekupa mayai mawili, moja uchemshe jingine ukaange. We umekaanga ambalo ulitakiwa kuchemsha na umechemsha ulilotakiwa kukaanga. Huniheshimu, It’s over! _ 6. Nimekuita DARLING na wewe ukaniita HONEY. Yani kwa maana nyingine unamuita mama yangu NYUKI. Huheshimu wazazi wangu, fungasha kilicho chako. its over.
Chezea paka wewe, Angalia kilichomkuta huyu na paka wake
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:02:32 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Jamaa alichukua paka wake na kwenda kumtupa mbal,aliporudi nyumban alimkuta paka amekwisharudi,jamaa alikasirika sana.
Siku ya 2 akamchukua na kwenda naye zaid ya kilometa 50 akapiga chochoro za kutosha kisha akamtupa,akaanza safar ya kurud nyumban baada ya muda akampigia cm mkewe.Vp mke wangu huyo paka yupo? MKE:Ndio mume wangu tena ametulia hapa kwan imekuaje? JAMAA:hebu mpe cm anielekeze njia ya kurud nimepotea😳
Soma alichokisema mlevi baada ya kukuta watu wakimpiga mwizi
Updated at: 2024-05-25 18:01:04 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Mlevi mmoja aliona wananchi wakipiga mwizi akawaambia "mwacheni msimpige, hii tabia yenu ya kupiga wezi mtakuja shtukia mnampiga Yesu, maana imeandikwa atakuja kama mwizi!"
Updated at: 2024-05-25 18:09:48 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Kuna maprofesa 40 walipanda AIR TANZANIA ili wasafari. Kabla ndege haijaanza kuondoka, Lilipita tangazo kama ifuatavyo:
Ndugu wasafiri wote, ndege unayotarajia kusafiri nayo imetengenezwa na wanafunzi wa Kitanzania. Baada ya tangazo maprofesa wote waliteremka isipokuwa mmoja alibaki kwenye kiti chake Walipomuuliza ni kwanini hakuondoka akajibu kwa haraka na furaha kuwa: Kama ndege hii imetengenezwa na watanzania, hata kuwaka haitawaka!
Baada ya kuulizwa nani anapenda kwenda peponi, haya ndiyo yalikua majibu ya wanafunzi
Wanafunzi waliulizwa na mwalimu nani angependa kwenda peponi? Wote wakanyosha ila mmoja tu alipokwenda nyumbani akamuelezea mamake, mamake akamuuliza je wewe ulinyosha mtoto hapana mama yule mama akamuuliza kwanini.
Updated at: 2023-04-29 14:10:46 (2 years ago by Melkisedeck Leon Shine)
Wanafunzi waliulizwa na mwalimu nani angependa kwenda peponi? Wote wakanyosha ila mmoja tu alipokwenda nyumbani akamuelezea mamake, mamake akamuuliza je wewe ulinyosha mtoto hapana mama yule mama akamuuliza kwanini.
mtoto kwa sababu mama uliniambia nikitoka shule nije moja kwa moja mpaka nyumbani nisiende kokote
Updated at: 2024-05-25 17:10:00 (1 year ago by SW - Melkisedeck Shine)
Jana wakati naangalia taarifa ya habar mtangazaji akasema "mpenz mtazamaji nataka nikupeleke moja kwa moja had marekani" nikazima TV kwa haraka nikaenda kuvaa viatu. Hadi sahv bado nmekaa hapa seblen nahisi bado wanaihangaikia Visa yangu
