What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?

Grace Mushi (Guest) on March 25, 2019

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing. 🏃‍♂️😴

Hellen Nduta (Guest) on March 10, 2019

I don’t make mistakes. I date them. 💔😂

Faiza (Guest) on March 7, 2019

It’s not that I’m lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing. 🛋️😂

Benjamin Masanja (Guest) on February 22, 2019

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. 🤷‍♂️🤔

Ndoto (Guest) on February 14, 2019

I need a six-month vacation, twice a year. 🏝️🕶️

Fatuma (Guest) on February 5, 2019

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right. 🤷‍♂️😎

Khatib (Guest) on February 4, 2019

If you can't remember my name, just say 'chocolate' and I'll turn around. 🍫🙋‍♀️

Agnes Sumaye (Guest) on February 2, 2019

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it! 💧🔥

Rose Mwinuka (Guest) on January 26, 2019

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. 🌞🌙

Moses Kipkemboi (Guest) on January 23, 2019

Why do they call it 'beauty sleep' when you wake up looking like a troll? 😴👹

Esther Cheruiyot (Guest) on January 13, 2019

I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult. 😬🧸

Ruth Kibona (Guest) on December 30, 2018

I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing. 😎👩‍💼

Zulekha (Guest) on December 27, 2018

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! ⛳👖

Wilson Ombati (Guest) on December 24, 2018

Why don’t melons get married? Because they cantaloupe! 🍈💍

Grace Mushi (Guest) on December 8, 2018

The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary. 📖💼

Thomas Mtaki (Guest) on November 22, 2018

What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead! 🎩🏃‍♂️

Baridi (Guest) on October 26, 2018

🤣 Sending this now!

Nicholas Wanjohi (Guest) on October 24, 2018

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 😴💤

John Malisa (Guest) on October 24, 2018

Why don’t basketball players ever go on vacation? They’re afraid of traveling! 🏀✈️

Mary Njeri (Guest) on October 8, 2018

I love my computer because my friends live in it. 💻💖

Peter Tibaijuka (Guest) on October 5, 2018

Dear math, I’m not a therapist. Solve your own problems. 📚🤯

Abubakari (Guest) on September 30, 2018

If I won the award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me. 🏆😴

Omar (Guest) on September 27, 2018

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine! 🍇🍷

Thomas Mwakalindile (Guest) on September 23, 2018

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 🪂🤣

Joseph Mallya (Guest) on September 23, 2018

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. 💼💸

Tabu (Guest) on September 19, 2018

If my jeans could talk, they’d say, 'Stop eating!' 👖🍕

Alice Mrema (Guest) on September 17, 2018

😆 This one really got me!

Kiza (Guest) on September 4, 2018

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels! 🥯🌊

Francis Mtangi (Guest) on August 29, 2018

I don’t procrastinate; I reschedule. 🗓️😜

Tambwe (Guest) on August 17, 2018

I'm not short. I'm just concentrated awesome! 👌😂

Charles Mchome (Guest) on July 26, 2018

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose! 🐄🦶

Arifa (Guest) on July 16, 2018

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. 🤯🤪

Kevin Maina (Guest) on July 3, 2018

I don't need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. 🛏️💇‍♂️

Lucy Wangui (Guest) on July 1, 2018

I'm on the 'I-just-ate' diet. It's working perfectly. 🍕💪

Maida (Guest) on June 28, 2018

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange! 🧛‍♂️🍊

John Mwangi (Guest) on June 10, 2018

I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat. 🧍‍♂️🍔

Agnes Njeri (Guest) on June 9, 2018

How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses! 🥕🐰👓

Mariam Kawawa (Guest) on June 1, 2018

Coffee: because adulting is hard. ☕👨‍💼

Hekima (Guest) on June 1, 2018

🤣 Didn’t see it coming!

Fadhila (Guest) on May 7, 2018

I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. 🤕🏠

Faiza (Guest) on May 6, 2018

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It felt crumby! 🍪🏥

Azima (Guest) on May 3, 2018

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. 🕒✈️

Selemani (Guest) on May 1, 2018

If Monday had a face, I’d punch it. 🥊📅

Edward Chepkoech (Guest) on April 30, 2018

😂 I’m saving this one!

Hellen Nduta (Guest) on April 25, 2018

I wish everything was as easy as getting fat. 🍩😂

Jane Malecela (Guest) on April 15, 2018

What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad sandals! 🐸👡

Ann Awino (Guest) on April 6, 2018

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese! 🧀🤣

Dorothy Mwakalindile (Guest) on April 2, 2018

Why don’t birds use Facebook? They already tweet! 🐦🐤

Paul Kamau (Guest) on March 24, 2018

What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court? Odor in the court! 🦨⚖️

Alice Mrema (Guest) on March 14, 2018

My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m gaining weight. 🍕📏

Rose Kiwanga (Guest) on March 10, 2018

😂 I can't stop laughing at this one!

Arifa (Guest) on March 9, 2018

Why did the man take his clock to the vet? It had ticks! 🕰️🐾

Zainab (Guest) on March 8, 2018

I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult. 🛌😬

Mashaka (Guest) on March 2, 2018

I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore, and forget all at once. 🎧🤔

Yusuf (Guest) on February 21, 2018

When nothing goes right, go left. ⬅️💡

Charles Mchome (Guest) on February 21, 2018

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep? 🛌💤

Violet Mumo (Guest) on February 1, 2018

How does a polar bear build its house? Igloos it together! 🐻‍❄️🏠

Robert Okello (Guest) on January 31, 2018

How do trees access the internet? They log in! 🌲💻

Shabani (Guest) on January 28, 2018

Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks! 🐔🥁

Grace Njuguna (Guest) on January 27, 2018

Monday should be optional. 😴⏳